Category Archives: comedy relief
Since March 14th I’ve been on disability leave, endured and been given a lot of changes (e.g. gotta move, can’t afford to live in my awful basement apartment), pain (tempered and made somehow worse by using powerful prescribed narcotic pain meds), poverty (well, that’s just basic- no frills), new life with a new friend (lover, sweetheart), surgery, hospital, inability to walk, blah blah blah. This will be my first major new post since I’ve been on this journey. It will be my last before I return to work.
Here is my new bag to take to work-
This is me before surgery-
This is me after surgery:
Here is my new hat-
So much stuff-
First, here is my friend Steve’s MySpace music page. He’s one of my favorite musicians, one of my oldest friends. There was a time we wrote together and made music for friends. He has always been great, he has gotten even better and he is a terrific person.
My friend, Dr. Jack, is continuing his fight against the Beast as a now retired, former employee who doesn’t have to keep his mouth shut. I have so much from Jack that I hesitate to post anything. e writes to me about daily. Here is an excerpt from one email. No names are used.
If ever there’s a time for youngsters to understand what’s happening to their brain during puberty, it’s now.
The founder of Life Education, Trevor Grice, says the pressure of society, the increase in youth suicide and easy access to drugs and alcohol make it essential for young people to understand what’s going on inside their heads.
However he says it must be explained to them using today’s technology and in a language they relate to.
As a result the Life Education Trust is developing a digital brain that youngsters can look inside, see what happens during puberty and how drugs, alcohol, peer pressure and relationships affect how it works.
This year Life Education is celebrating its 25th anniversary in New Zealand and has committed itself to developing the latest technology to engage with primary and intermediate students.
At its annual conference last month the latest mobile classroom – its 45th – was unveiled which the Trust considers will propel it into the next 25 years as a relevant and essential player in the health curriculum.
The technology demonstrated to John Key, who opened the conference, replicated his skeleton and organs and demonstrated to him how they work so he can have a greater understanding of his own body.
To this technology, which will be rolled out into every mobile classroom, Trevor Grice intends to introduce the digital brain.
New HUD Olmstead Guidance Step in Right Direction
Examples of integrated settings include scattered-site apartments providing supportive housing, rental subsidies that enable individuals with disabilities to obtain housing on the open market, and apartments for individuals with disabilities scattered throughout housing developments. “By contrast,” the guidance states, “segregated settings are occupied exclusively or primarily by individuals with disabilities.”
The guidance is intended to better educate state and local housing agencies, housing developers, and housing providers on their obligations under the “integration mandate” of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). To make real the promise of the ADA, the guidance instructs, “additional integrated housing options scattered throughout the community” are needed.
In issuing the guidance, HUD Secretary Shaun Donovan recognized that the “Olmsteaddecision-and subsequent voluntary Olmstead planning and implementation, litigation by groups representing individuals with disabilities, and Department of Health and Human Services and Department of Justice enforcement efforts-is creating a dramatic shift in the way services are delivered to individuals with disabilities.” He affirmed that “HUD is committed to offering housing options that enable individuals with disabilities to live in the most integrated settings possible and to fully participate in community life.”
“We are encouraged by the issuance of this guidance and its important recognition that HUD-subsidized housing must afford people with disabilities the chance to live in the most integrated setting,” said Jennifer Mathis, director of programs for the Judge David L. Bazelon Center for Mental Health Law. “The vast majority of people with disabilities want to live in ordinary housing. We hope this guidance will spark development across the country of mainstream housing for people with disabilities.”
The Bazelon Center for Mental Health Law (www.bazelon.org) is the leading national legal-advocacy organization representing people with mental disabilities. It promotes laws and policies that enable people with psychiatric or intellectual disabilities to exercise their life choices and access the resources they need to participate fully in their communities.
For media inquiries, please contact Dominic Holt at mailto:Dominic@bazelon.org or 202.467.5730, ext. 311.
First, this news from “Verge”
“Massive Botnet Using Brute Force to Attack WordPress Sites” and this, of course, is a wordpress site. They have been good to me over the years and I have found them to host many useful and diverse blogs around the world.
Just learned of these two today- Bhardmazbhardmaz and Full of Roses Inspirational Photography and Poetry. Sometime I should just do a page of good wordpress blogs that I follow.
So, I plan to change my password, try to make it more obscure and difficult to remember.
Computer parade, east germany:
Cuteness explosion invades [caturday]:
Not all assassins are very good at it:
Pictures from my kids phone-photo blog (always click for full size- I do not skimp on size):
Pictures from the site that shall not be named:
These are animated- if they don’t work automatically, click them to nudge them along:
How I spent last weekend or….
Other more better stuff:
I think I’m ready but I am a bit nervous. I’ve been off since 2/10/2012. Oregon State Hospital- here is a state propaganda page.
Some things have changed while I was gone. Everyone is now moved into the new hospital building. Even me. No more big comfortable, private office- I’m in a giant cube-farm. This will take some getting used to.
The word is that most patients find it to be much more prison-like. There is no real “outside”- yards are internal, surrounded by tall walls, space is limited more in some ways. There is no real space where people can congregate and talk. Dining is now in shifts of 30 minutes each, treatment groups happen in rooms attached to crowded narrow hallways.
Staff are also concerned about the new building and the whole new set of rules and restrictions that have emerged over the past 6 months
Many staff there are excellent people. Most of them are having trouble working in the new environment. But the propaganda machine is telling everyone it’s great, so really what are people complaining about?
Recently a staff person died while restraining a patient. The death was your basic heart attack unrelated to the events, other than there was probably some physical exertion going on. The guy is someone who always looked like a walking coronary. He was 36 years old.
Peace out Matthew. Rest easy. You don’t need to come to work tomorrow. I do though.
Wish me luck. I will need all the good vibes I can muster.
Okay, lets do something different. Funny stuff or things that caught my eye. And a bit of music. We’ll start with music to make the whole segue thing more realistic. Lisa Germano singing “Destroy the Flower”.
This is cool- if you like this sort of thing-
Below is important instructions from Goopy…
Just so you know.
click the next one if it doesn’t animate
go to goopymart!
Sound- Ben Folds, Jesusland:
Below, one of 3 holes they opened up in my veins for Electrophysiography and Cardiac Ablation yesterday. Two probes up from both sides of my groin, one down from the neck.
They put the probes in place, then stressed my heart into an arrhythmia, mapped where the short circuits were happening, snaked another deal through whichever hole was closest to burn the tissue inside my heart that was causing the problem.
The procedure took just over 3 hours, then had to lie flat on my back for 6 hours so they know my veins won’t pop open and make a huge mess.
Feels worse than it looks. I am sparing you the groin shots.
It’s good though because the arrhythmia was becoming a serious problem (3 incidents in 6 months requiring medical intervention, one requiring defib). No more. All fixed.
I’ve never even had a broken bone. Dislocated a knee when I was about 6- still have arthritis from that. No tonsillectomy, no appendectomy (all original equipment); I did have a vasectomy many years ago, but that was nothing.
At 57 years old, this is the most intrusive medical procedure I have ever had.
Even with the arrhythmia gone that still leaves me with a couple serious chronic illnesses. Oh, well- life goes on. Balanced on a thread. Life, as they say, is fleeting, insubstantial. Death only is certain; the time and place of death is unknown.
Each moment of being a human being is precious. The fulfillment of my innate purpose is the only worthwhile goal. That fulfillment lies in the choices I make each moment. That purpose lies in my devotion to the essence of my heart’s desire.
I love the poetry of Tagore (there are many examples of this throughout this site). From Gitanjali:
If thou speakest not I will fill my heart with thy silence and endure it. I will keep still and wait like the night with starry vigil and its head bent low with patience.
The morning will surely come, the darkness will vanish, and thy voice pour down in golden streams breaking through the sky.
Then thy words will take wing in songs from every one of my birds’ nests, and thy melodies will break forth in flowers in all my forest groves.
That longing that I knew before I was even born, all the desires, sacred and profane, that have driven my every moment through this rich tapestry of life- all come from the same deep yearning for wholeness. And even as my heart yearns, I know deeply and certainly that I am already whole, that the clear light is my own nature, closer than my name, closer and more real than my own “I” feeling.
Also, going through my head this past month-
Pitr Purushe Bhyo Namah,
Rsi Deve Bhyo Namah,
Brahma Arpanam Brahma Havir,
Brahmaeva Tena Gantavyam
Brahma Karma Sama’dhina’.
Salutations to the ancestors, salutations to the god-like rs’is.
The act of offering is Brahma; that which is offered is Brahma; the One to whom the offering is made is Brahma; and the person making the offering is Brahma.
One will merge in Brahma after completing the duty assigned to him/her by Brahma.
The above translation is not how I remember it. Especially I always understood the phrase Brahma’g’ nao as having to do with the burning of the offering. It has been a long time since I was a serious student of samskrta bhajans. Someone please correct me if I am wrong (I know there are many very knowledgeable folks who read this and will know better than I the meaning) but I have always thought this part of the mantra says:
“God is the offering, God is the Offerer, God is the fire which consumes the offering and the ashes that remain; The one who remembers God in everything they do will merge with God when the work is done.”
The point being that I have been remembering this verse, this puja, in my daily work, especially now because I have been feeling discouraged and even exhausted by the seva.
Everything that arises in this moment is the perfect teacher- so there is some chance that the following random stuff that has been invading my head is relevant-
Huge, I make no apologies:
Mahaprabhu Vallabhacharya –
(also, see this)
Bhakthi Saint 14th Century proponent of
“Krishna Bhakthi” in North India
Madhuraashtakam by Saint Vallbhacharya
adharam madhuram vadanam madhuram
nayanam madhuram hasitam madhuram
hrdayam madhuram gamanam madhuram
“His lips are sweet; His face is sweet; Hiseyes are sweet; His smile
is sweet; His heart is sweet and His walk is sweet. Every single thing
about the Lord is completely sweet!”
vachanam madhuram charitam madhuram
vasanam madhuram valitam madhuram
chalitam madhuram bhramitam madhuram
“His words are sweet; His acts are sweet; His dress is sweet; His
posture is sweet. His walk is sweet, and His wanderings are sweet.
Every single thing about the Lord is completely sweet!”
venur madhuro renur madhurah
panir madhurah padau madhurau
nrityam madhuram sakhyam madhuram
“His flute is sweet; the dust of His lotus feet is sweet. His hands
are sweet; His feet are sweet. His dancing is sweet; His friendship is
sweet. Everything about the Supreme Lord of sweetness is sweet.”
geetam madhuram peetam madhuram
bhuktam madhuram suptam madhuram
roopam madhuram tilakam madhuram
“His song is sweet, His drinking is sweet; His eating is sweet, His
sleeping is sweet. His beauty is sweet, His tilaka is sweet. Every
thing about the Lord is completely sweet.”
karanam madhuram taranam madhuram
haranam madhuram smaranam madhuram
vamitam madhuram shamitam madhuram
“His acts are sweet, His delivering is sweet, His stealing is sweet,
His enjoyment is sweet. His heartfelt outpourings are sweet, His peace
is sweet. Everything about the Supreme Lord is fully sweet.”
gunja madhura mala madhura
yamuna madhura veechee madhura
salilam madhuram kamalam madhuram
“His Gunja necklace is sweet, as is His garland. His Yamuna River is
sweet, her waves are sweet, and her waters are sweet. The lotus
flowers there are also sweet. Everything is completely sweet about the
Supreme Personality of Godhead, the Lord of sweetness.”
gopee madhura leela madhura
yuktam madhuram bhuktam madhuram
drishtam madhuram shishtam madhuram
“His foremost devotees, the gopis, are sweet. His pastimes are sweet.
meeting with Him is sweet. Being enjoyed by Him is sweet. Being
noticed (seen) by Him is sweet. His character is sweet. Simply
everything about the Lord of sweetness is all-sweet.”
gopa madhura gavo madhura
yastir madhura srishtir madhura
dalitam madhuram phalitam madhuram
“His cowherd friends are sweet; His cows are sweet. His cane is sweet;
His creation is sweet, His destruction is sweet, and His fruition is
sweet. Everything about the Supreme Lord is totally sweet.”
And already I’m thinking again of Rumi- he continues to inspire me every day. Here is a good copy of the Mathnawi, 1 & 2.
and this, I am thinking:
and then again…
Wait for it….
I’ll have the Tortoise Basket with fries, please.
We went to bring some cake to her place
had to get a Zipcar
cried, talked to her,
sang happy birthday
now we’re drinking (I never drink)
by tomorrow, back to
usual degree of grief
[Carrot cake because, well, we know who will actually eat it and trying not to be too destructive to life…]
I pray each day to keep my heart open. Really I do.
And I work in a place where the suffering is so intense it burns-
Oregon State Hospital-
and I think it’s the right thing.
I always wish I had not been blind.
Wish I had done this and that different.
But I did the best I could without access to a time machine.
I did the best I could.
Made me a better parent.
I knew better what was important.
I raised my boys really good.
They have become the sweetest, most gentle men-
that is worth something.
I still cried. Worse than last year.
A sucker punch.
Thank you, Erin, and Mike Tyson-
The pain doesn’t go away.
Maybe that’s all it was meant to do.
For all the years sucked up in madness and despair,
I can’t give away even one moment.
Nothing else would bring me here.
Right here is the right place.
Thank you lord-
you have shown me the path of love:
Now, just so we don’t lose track of the punchline…
私達は彼女の場所にケーキを持って来ることを行った Zipcarを得なければならなかった 、彼女に話されて叫ばれる、 誕生日おめでとうを歌った 今we’ 再飲むこと(決して私飲み物) 明日までに、に戻って 通常の程度の悲しみ 、よく、私達が知っているので[ニンジン・ケーキだれが実際にそれをおよび食べるか生命に余りに有害ではないべきを…試みる] 私は私の中心を開いた保つために毎日祈る。 実際に私は。 そして私は苦労がある従って強い燃える場所で働く オレゴンの州立病院 そして私はit’を考える; s正しいこと。 私はずっと私が盲目ではないことを常に望む。 願いIは別のこれおよびこれをした。 しかし私は私によってタイムマシンへのアクセスなしでできた最善を尽した。 私は私によってできた最善を尽した。 私によりよい親をされる。 私は重要だったものをもっとよく知っていた。 私はよい私の男の子を実際に育てた。 彼らは最も甘くのほとんどの穏やかな人なった それは何かの価値がある。 私はまだ叫んだ。 ひどくより去年。 不意打ち。 あなた、ErinおよびマイクTyson-に感謝しなさい 苦痛doesn’ tはなくなる。 それは深まる。 多分that’ sすべてすることを意味した。 狂気および絶望で吸われるすべての年のため I can’ tは1時を与える。 何も私をここに連れて来る。 右の場所はここに正しくある。 主ありがとう 私に愛の道を示した: 荒廃。 今度は、ちょうどそう私達don’ tは失うパンチラインのトラックを…
Back to English-
We must obtain Zipcar which does, you speaking to her, you shout, you question that it comes having the cake in her place with your birthday [me] now we’ when you sing returning to the thing (never my beverage) tomorrow which re-drinks, usual sorrow, to be good, because we have known, [carrot cake someone really and eats that, it should not be excessively harmful in life…Everyday you pray because try] I opened my center and maintain. Actually as for me. The Oregonian state hospital which works at the place where and I is hardship and therefore it forces and burn and I think it'[wo]; s be correct. I always desire the fact that directly I am not the blind person. Request I did difference remains and this. But as for me without access to the time machine depending upon me the best which it is possible was exhausted. As for me the best which it is possible with me was exhausted. The good parent is done by me. I had known those which are important better. I raised the good my boy really. As for them that you have become the sweet most calm people is some value. I shouted still. It is terrible from last year. Surprise. You, Erin or microphone Tyson-[ni] do to appreciate there is no pain doesn’ t. That becomes deep. The fact that’ s it does perhaps entirely was meant. Because of all years which are inhaled in insanity and despair I can’ t gives 1 o’clock. What comes accompanying me here. Just there is a place the right here. The main thing the road of love was shown thank you in me: Devastation. This time, the track/truck of the punch line which so we don’ t lose exactly…